Things are getting more and more eccentric at Casa de la Swain. Changing styles in my textile work, falling in love again with painting and photography...and then there is the ever illusive quest for continuing creativity through working with Eric Maisel. Still on the road teaching, posting now at the Ragged Cloth Cafe and taking the pledge to keep handmaiden up to date.

Friday, July 14, 2006

To Have and Have Not

It is with heavy heart and much thought that I begin this post. Blogging has been one of the most revelatory experiences that I could have imagined. I learned more about those of you that I had already known for to meet new, amazing, insightful women...had fun with quizzes and enjoyed watching and reading about the process of your work. I feel I have friends all over the world that share my same love of quiltmaking, thinking and art. However, I am going to be taking a respite from blogging....stating the obvious.
There are some transitions going on within me right now that I am having to really dig into deeply. They aren't anything worth discussing. It would end up sounding like "poor little me" and I don't want that. Suffice it to say at the moment I am questioning every aspect of my life. It is very uncomfortable and I don't like it but there it is.
Maybe the transition in the work started it all or maybe 5 planets retrograde fell on top of me but this is a down and dirty mid-life crisis. I am keeping up with the business aspects of the work but can't face the studio....walk in, turn on the lights, turn off the light, walk out. To put it mildly, I am empty. Which could be good because that means there is something to fill but at the moment, it is just empty.
Will I ever make quilts again? Probably but for the moment, no. I have lost something inside and not sure, I haven't already said all I had to say. I always used to laugh about being born with the genius but not the talent. Now I think it might be born with the talent but not the genius.
You will still be on my reading list. I wouldn't want to miss Val and a new Bon Jovi clip, or how Karoda is such an inspiration to me....what about that Sonja, whose thoughts and work are stunning and then there is Jen, whose Zen life reminds me of a leaf floating down a resistance. Let us not forget all our Deb's....who keep us laughing and playing and write with great verve. Dear Gerrie...who I have a surprise for...I talked about our deconstruction in the new DVD. And Caity, whose wonderful sense of humor and candor bring me great joy. I know I have left someone out but know that you are all dynamic, thoughtful and compassionate.
When this passes, I will be back I am sure....nattering on as usual. Forgive me in my absence.