On Becoming High Maintence

Time for a little narrative about my journey for the last two years. As an aging hippy chick bringing up four sons, I allowed myself to gain up to some 150 lbs. I say some because some days it was only 150; some days it was a teeny bit more. Remember, I am a quiltmaker so that requires sitting on your flat butt for hours at a time. (If I could just learn how to applique standing up.) So as you might have guessed, this was not a pretty picture. Even worse, I am 5'5", small boned and with skinny legs and arms....so at that weight I was your basic olive with tooth picks stuck in it. I, mean holy guacamole, I weighed less when I gave birth to each of the boys. What is a post menapausal woman to do?

"Vanity thy name is woman." As much as I didn't want to buy into this having to be thin thing, I knew this was not good for my health and more importantly wasn't going to get any better as the years went by. Exercise to me was walking to the mail box, going to the grocery store or cleaning the bathroom (which I might add is still a pretty good work out if you only do it once a month).

Steps must be taken....I am becoming the blob. (I should add here my husband, Ronnie is 5'8" and weighs about 140.) Not only am I am blob but also bigger than my ever so thin sweet man. It's a gene thing. I have fought for years to be smaller than Ronnie. When we got married I weighed 99 lbs and he weighed 120 lbs.....what happened to me.

But I digress, almost two years ago my son Craig married the love of his life Kelly. I decided to lose weight for the wedding....don't you hate all those pictures of yourself in the mother of the groom dresses. I managed to lose 15 lbs on Atkins but was not going to exercise, never, ever, no way. Even with that attitude I managed to keep the 15 off for a year.

Around November of the wedding year, Ronnie found this place that taught pilates and yoga. On his suggestion we signed up for 5 private sessions of pilates. The rest is history.....I am so devoted to pilates...it is the best thing since sliced bread and I am loving every minute of it. Problem solved; found an exercise program I could do. I can stop now......but no.

In January of 2004, Ronnie decided he need a rowing machine (an erg indoor rower from Concept 2). His life was not going to be complete without this contraption so we order same. In return, I wanted a Tempurpedic matress, hoping my back and shoulders would stop hurting...so we order that. Appropriate, no? Mattress for me; exercise machine for him. And that's when it all back-fired on me.

The rowing machine arrives. Being the good wife, I unpack it, get out the tools, some assembly required and when Ronnie comes home from work, there is his shiny new machine just waiting for him to use. And that would be the end of that...he has been on it once. I on the other hand have rowed over 700,00 meters since May of 2004. I am ranked 5 out of 34 for my age range in the 30 minute ranking....6427 meters.

I went back on the diet to see if I could lose some more weight....do weight training once a week, pilates once a week, yoga once a week and row 6 days a week. The good news is I lost 35 lbs but that is when the real trouble began.

New clothes, new hair, wish I could afford plastic surgery (that extra tummy skin thing) and am all around consumed with myself. This is not a bad thing; not a good thing either. Occasionally, I get so sick of myself I can't stand it....how much longer can I be Gabrielle Swain. Other days, I seriously want that $900 Donna Karan black pant suit...so New York, and I would look so cute. Don't worry I am smarter than that but the thought did cross my mind.

Moral of the story: You can change for the better and more expensive also. I would be happy to guide you down that road....don't forget Kate Spade purses, Stuart Weitzman shoes, manicure and pedicure, massages, your own colorist, a personal trainer............bleech!