Creativity: The Demon and The Delight

As artist, we are constantly flowing between good and bad cycles. By that I mean, you either have too many ideas and not enough time. Or too much time a no ideas. This is a constant...you can depend on it. This past year has proven to me again what these cycles are all about and what caused mine. Don't read further if you aren't interested in some personal stuff.
Last March, my son was deployed to Sadr City in Baghdad. After many tears, I came out of the hole thinking that I could channel all that energy into quilts...not! As much as I have tried, Chris being in harm's way paralyzed me. I do have lots of sketches so that was good...but it was all I could do to pull fabric, thread needle and sew in any form. This down cycle was not of my own doing but from external consequences. However, if you truly live the creative life these cycles will fall like a ton of bricks for a variety of reasons.
Maybe Chris leaving wasn't the cause...maybe it was just a downturn in my own energy..excerbated by his leaving. Maybe I was just tired and need to recharge...who knows maybe my chi was out of whack.
The truth is that this will happen to us all from time to time. The pendulum swings...it is how we handle the cycle that is important. First, I suggest that you whine about it endlessly. That will last about a day or two and then you will be sick of yourself...much less what everyone around you will be thinking. Second, I suggest that you don't try to force it for awhile.
Seriously folks, the world will not change its axis rotation if we don't make X number of quilts in any given period. Take the time to look into yourself to see why you aren't interested or why you feel out of it.
The bad news is it is probably that ugly ego thing rearing its head. I hear myself saying on occasion, "I need something good to happen today." Huh? Like I can control that and like something good doesn't happen on any given day. Nothing is all bad or all good. Life just is. Life is for learning...to quote Joni Mitchell.
If it is my ego getting in the way, I have a serious talk with myself. What does ego have to do with art anyway? After all, Jackson Pollock, David Smith, I am not. Nor do I want to be. The bad boy school of art is way over.....and was even kind of a self-indulgent drag then. Nor do I accept the starving artist dialogue...I do much better with hot water, showers, air-conditioning and food.
There are just going to be days when you can't or don't want to work. Instead of making it the end of the world, do something useful or fun. Go spend money.....help the economy. Knit...always a good meditation. Exercise....one of my personal favorites...there is something to be said for moving the body. Yoga and pilates are two of my favorites for centering and getting my head out of a funk.
Regardless, know that this will pass and the delight of working will come upon you again. The creative life is always going to be either feast or famine. Learn to enjoy and delight in both. They are the yin and yang of an artist life. When we stopping fighting the river, we find peace, beauty and joy in the journey.
No matter where you are right now...know that it will change....be prepared for it....and know that it will change again.