Pilgrim-Roy Challenge in Progress 

Going South and North

Although I am not leaving until 20 February, I thought I should probably pack a few clothes and something to teach. In so doing, I will be away from you for awhile. On the 20th, I am off to Melbourne, Australia. I return the 28th and then off again to Canmore, Alberta, Canada on the 3rd. From Canmore, I fly to beautiful downtown Burbank, CA for the Glendale Quilt Show; returning on the 14th of March......whew! I do love teaching so no matter how difficult this sounds, it will be a good trip.
While I am gone, think of me occasionally.....I will keep y'all in my thoughts...and will try to journal stories to discuss when I return. Also, the good news is that by the time I get home, Chris will probably be back in Texas....and the Collin, the first born twin, may even be home.
Stay well...have fun....make some art.....and I will be back to pester you soon.

Oh yeah, forgot some news: My article on Color As I See It is coming out in the April issue of Quilters Newsletter Magazine. They have also included a review of the DVD. Let me know what you think when you have a chance.

Creativity: The Demon and The Delight

As artist, we are constantly flowing between good and bad cycles. By that I mean, you either have too many ideas and not enough time. Or too much time a no ideas. This is a constant...you can depend on it. This past year has proven to me again what these cycles are all about and what caused mine. Don't read further if you aren't interested in some personal stuff.
Last March, my son was deployed to Sadr City in Baghdad. After many tears, I came out of the hole thinking that I could channel all that energy into quilts...not! As much as I have tried, Chris being in harm's way paralyzed me. I do have lots of sketches so that was good...but it was all I could do to pull fabric, thread needle and sew in any form. This down cycle was not of my own doing but from external consequences. However, if you truly live the creative life these cycles will fall like a ton of bricks for a variety of reasons.
Maybe Chris leaving wasn't the cause...maybe it was just a downturn in my own energy..excerbated by his leaving. Maybe I was just tired and need to recharge...who knows maybe my chi was out of whack.
The truth is that this will happen to us all from time to time. The pendulum swings...it is how we handle the cycle that is important. First, I suggest that you whine about it endlessly. That will last about a day or two and then you will be sick of yourself...much less what everyone around you will be thinking. Second, I suggest that you don't try to force it for awhile.
Seriously folks, the world will not change its axis rotation if we don't make X number of quilts in any given period. Take the time to look into yourself to see why you aren't interested or why you feel out of it.
The bad news is it is probably that ugly ego thing rearing its head. I hear myself saying on occasion, "I need something good to happen today." Huh? Like I can control that and like something good doesn't happen on any given day. Nothing is all bad or all good. Life just is. Life is for learning...to quote Joni Mitchell.
If it is my ego getting in the way, I have a serious talk with myself. What does ego have to do with art anyway? After all, Jackson Pollock, David Smith, I am not. Nor do I want to be. The bad boy school of art is way over.....and was even kind of a self-indulgent drag then. Nor do I accept the starving artist dialogue...I do much better with hot water, showers, air-conditioning and food.
There are just going to be days when you can't or don't want to work. Instead of making it the end of the world, do something useful or fun. Go spend money.....help the economy. Knit...always a good meditation. Exercise....one of my personal favorites...there is something to be said for moving the body. Yoga and pilates are two of my favorites for centering and getting my head out of a funk.
Regardless, know that this will pass and the delight of working will come upon you again. The creative life is always going to be either feast or famine. Learn to enjoy and delight in both. They are the yin and yang of an artist life. When we stopping fighting the river, we find peace, beauty and joy in the journey.
No matter where you are right now...know that it will change....be prepared for it....and know that it will change again.

Moving the Office or How to Not Finish a New Quilt

My fellow quiltmakers, do not fall into this trap. Like many of us, I get request for gimme contributions. Mostly, I say no because I work so slow but there are two good causes that I cannot turn down. The IQA auction and the Museum of the American Quilter in Paducah. So in a previous post, I told you the story of working on the challenge quilt for the museum. Believe it or not, I have the interior finished and even have a small outer border on the piece. If I hadn't broken my digital camera, I would show you. However, this is when the trouble started....
My office and studio have been sharing the same space for months. When will Thomas move out???? I have my eye on that space for the office but he keeps coming home to visit. Love to see him; he is a cutie and very sweet but there is no way my office could be in his room when he is home. He is in law school....holds up in his room to study....we just slide food under the door.
Making a long story short, I wouldn't have access to the room while he is here. Aaargh!

To further the problem, while trying to square up and border the challenge piece, I was working on a very cluttered cutting table. The table included my light box (36"x29") which I use all the time and is no problem. However on the opposite side of the table sat the scanner and the dvd label printer. This gave me about a foot of working space. The quilt is 36" square without borders....and is probably only slightly square considering the working conditions....but who will notice, right?

Not only was this absolutely unworkable but on one side of my sewing machine cabinet sat my Cannon i960 photo printer. Now I ask you how is it possible for anyone to work in these conditions. What do I do? Forget the piece...rush to office depot...buy new desk to fit in rarely used dining room...run to Best Buy to purchase splitter to separate cable tv and cable internet connection....and start "some assembly required."

This was on Wednesday night. Tonight I am sitting at my new desk...absolutely exhausted...with the studio still in a mess from the move....but elated. Not only did I not work on the quilt but I also have a great sense of accomplishment. If there had only been a camera watching me trying to get this desk into our house...it was Laurel and Hardy move the desk. Thank the goddess that I have been working out. This thing weighed a ton....but moi, with an 11" bicep (no laughing) got the said desk into the house and assembled. Go girl power!

After the move, I have discovered a need for more storage units....another way to avoid working. Tomorrow morning I am off to Office Depot to get those great units with pull out drawers for some the important ephemera in my collection. This should finish the studio leaving me forced to work on the quilt. However, I will keep you posted if I find another way to not work.

And for my fellow knitters, check out my newest book purchase, Stich'nBitch Nation....great ideas and a hoot to read. Also, the author has a great website:www.knithappens.com Enjoy!

While Dusting

contemplating a new leaf design

What is it with dust? You gotta reassure me that you have as much as I do. Otherwise I will be completely distraught. It doesn't matter when I dust, morning, noon, or night(yeah,like that is gonna happen), a few minutes later everything is covered again. What is the solution? Obviously, stop dusting and don't give a rat who notices. However, it leads one to wonder: where is all this dirt coming from?
Ronnie and I are relatively clean folks. We do both accumulate a lotta stuff...books...cds...fabric...yarn...blue glass...more books. But come on folks, is this where the dust is coming from? Ronnie even bought a book "The History of Dust." A cheerful read, I am sure. However, I ain't getting close to that one...probably full of dust. The one thing he did tell me was that most of the dust in our homes is our own dead skin.....yeeow! If that is true, I should be incredibly thin with a very young face. We will have to re-think that statement by the author.
So like the good quiltmaker that I am, I forgot the dusing and started working on some new designs. See above. This is just one of many that I managed to accomplish in lieu of dusting. Now I ask you what was the better deed? So happily ignoring the filth I am surrounded by....I remain yours devoted to getting more work done.....and house cleaning is not included.

Thoughts for the Coming Year

Thanks to everyone who responded to : Get Over Yourself. The responses were thoughtful and I appreciate the humor in all of them. In that vain, I though I might talk about some of the things I have on my list for the coming year. Hopefully some of these will resonate with you or that you might find them valuable.
1. I am over the art vs. craft debate. It takes an incredible amount of art to creat any piece of work regardless of the media/discipline. Along with that all media is well crafted. Painters don't paint badly, sculptors don't sculptor don't sculpt badly. This is an old, sad tired argument....and In my humble opinion an excuse for doing bad work. Don't start throwing the tomatoes yet. If you care about a piece you will execute it to the best of your ability. The piece deserves that much of your attention and devotion.....if you work mindlessly, with no intent how are you going to accomplish your goal.
2. Working with intention doesn't prevent spontaneous, ah ha moments. These will always occur if you just allow yourself to get into the zone...create a dialogue with the piece. Don't just produce for the sake of having a new piece. Remember bad technique get in the way of good art; while perfect technique is never going to save bad composition and design.
3. The pressure to produce.....a biggy in our business...but if you aren't careful you short change every piece. Painters often take many years before they feel a painting is complete. Quiltmakers are seeking instant gratification...the faster the better. Give yourself the privilege of exploring an image longer....playing with it in different ways. This always produces better work. My plan for the coming year is not succumb to this pressure and allow each piece to grow at its own pace.
4. Quote from fellow quiltmakers and judges: "I am so tired of seeing the same quilts at all the shows. Besides, this person already has won enough ribbons." Huh? Cleaning out my ears to make sure I heard this correctly. I mean, whoa doggies, I just hate when you have to look at those same Van Gogh's over and over again. One Cezanne looks like another; what can we possibly learn from looking at another Matisse. Isn't that an intrepretation of what we are saying when we utter the "I am tired of seeing the same quilts over and over again." Classic work holds up to the test of time regardless of the media.

And as to the judging thing: First, I don't believe in competitive art...another ego thing. However, as a professional quiltmaker I do need to keep my name in the public eye. It helps me push the work and is good for business. But the concept of someone not winning because they have won lots of award already is so alien to me. If it is the best quilt in the category or in the show, it should win...forget where you saw it before. This is solid work and should be recognized as such.

In closing, I am making a plan of attack for my career this year. I have been working with a great coach. If you are interested contact me privately for more information. She is keeping me on task and constantly thinking about where I want to go and why. It is always difficult to project into the future...be here now...but occasionally it is good just to contemplate, meditate and center yourself in the work. I'll keep you posted on my success...providing there is some.

Get Over Yourself

Since no one is reading this anyway, I thought today would be a perfect time to jump into the water with the sharks. Huh? Okay, here goes...why do all of us art quilters take ourselves so seriously? Geesy creesy, the angst if almost palatable. If it isn't the angst of "we are really artist but no one understands us," it is the opposite which I call the "rock star" syndrome. Talk about your polar opposites. I mean sheesh folks, lighten up.

So the art world doesn't think we are legitimate....is that going to make your life better when they do? I think not. If you aren't happy with what you are doing, no amount of outside validation is going to make it better. Hey, don't get me wrong, it is great to sell work because I get to spend the money. But I would still do the work even if it didn't sell. I don't think wearing outrageous outfits or like me, dressing all in black is going to get their attention. I wear black because it makes me look thinner......not because it is arty.

See the problem is the art world may never want us.....more dollars away from selling their work isn't going to endear us to them. What will we do when they don't? Keep talking art talk or doing more work. There is a famous quote from Judy Chicago that I am going to bungle but it goes something like this: "Well, first, you make some stuff and then you have to find somewhere to store it and then you make some more stuff." Right on, Judy.

You can take your work seriously without taking yourself seriously. Golly, gosh, I still have to scrub the toilet.....Marcel Duchamp aside. Can't we have fun while still making good work? Have another cosmo and chill out! Laugh when you do something the wrong way or better yet cut it up and start over again...now we are getting arty.

Here's the deal...we are getting lost along the way. "Chop wood; carry water." Being an art quilter isn't who we are it is what we do. When you start to believe your own PR, everything is on its way to the sewer. Sheesh, I am trying to rid of this ego thing instead of making it bigger. Oh it's there all right, screaming all the time like a baby...feed me....give me more. So what happens when you do feed the blasted thing...disappointment....expectations. Having no expectations is the way to freedom. When something good happens you are always pleasantly surprised; when something bad happens, you can just shrug it off. Laugh at yourself and go on to the next thing.

Unless there is a loss of limb involved (always bargaining with God...you can take the ear and legs but not the eyes and hands...gotta sew), it is a good day. Shoot a monkey, I woke up this morning 55 years old...last time I looked I was 30. Wha happened? You can lose your whole life in this rat race if you aren't careful. Wake up! Hello! What happened to enjoying what we do, savoring the moment, being happy to be alive (I checked this morning just to make sure)?

Enough, enough...my soul is purged.....I go to sew......but while I am gone....think about it...and chuckle at both of us as you read.

Not Working, It's Ronnie's Birthday remember?

Since I am not working and there isn't an art thought running through the holes in my head...I thought I would show you two of my sons and their children. Chris is currently stationed in Baghdad at Sadr City but is due home in March. He is doing well but this has been the hardest thing he ever put me through...even beyond those wonderful teenage years. Chris is and incredible artist and photographer, but what does he do in the Army...a tanker. Yeah, that makes sense to me. His wife, Jillaine, is a wonderful lady...we are so lucky to have her. She is so thoughtful and kind.....always calls to brighten my day. BTW, Chris' Birthday is tomorrow...28 years old. The girls, of course, are too cute and they have a new sibling on the way...a leave baby....that's number 8.
Craig and Kelly have just been blessed with Collin and Cyrus....can you believe it twins. It hasn't been easy. The boys decided to enter the world at 25 weeks gestation but there is a happy ending. Cyrus is now at home with mom and dad; Collin is on the way. Gaia is now surrounded with brothers.
Craig is my computer guru so everything is at sixes and sevens with anything computer related at my house. Kelly is an amazing woman going through all the problems of the early delivery like a champ. She is also the very talented graphic designer of the packaging of my DVD.
But wait, that's not all, there is still Charles and Christy planning a wedding sometime this year. Will find pictures for later post. And last but not least, Thomas, who is in his second quarter at Baylor Law School at age 21...also picture to follow. So this is the Swain clan growing faster and better. I am about the same age as all my sons, or at least, that's my story and I am sticking to it.
Ronnie finally thought of something he wanted for his birthday. Off to the bookstore..but he can't have the candy also......what does this guy want...everything?

Sharing my Pride and Joy

Another Swain heard from: Chris, Jillaine, Jene and Jayden

Craig, Kelly and Gaia, the twins family unit 

Collin and Cyrus, the new Swain boys 

Tagged and Bagged

Oh, gosh, golly more thinking about myself. My dearest friend in thin, Melody tagged me with these meme questions. Rising to the occasion of being even more self-absorbed than I already am, I will attempt to answer the call.
These choices are definitely going to show my age and mental state...but then you already knew that.
1. Total amount of music files on your computer?
Way too easy..zero...I am very low tech....have a major league sound system in living room and smaller player in studio...dealing with the computer is like being a secretary...ugh!

2. Last CD you bought was: Michael McDonald Mowtown Two, can't help I love his voice, plus he looks like Ronnie. Diana Krall, The Girl in the Other Room, can't beat a torch singer and a piano. Rita Coolidge and her sisters, Walela, the female tradition of Cherokee women singers.
There may have been a Roy Orbinson in there for Ronnie who loves Only the Lonely. However, if any of you are familiar with DiscGear we have three full. Elucidation: DiscGear, makes containers for CD's and DVD's that work like a juke box. You throw away or recycle the jewel cases, give each cd a number and slot, slide to that number and the cd pops up. Ours hold 100 each...holy too much money on music,

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
So I was in my car going to the grocery store in the freezing cold rain(see previous post) and had a cd going: Blood on the Wire Jackson Browne

4.Write down 5 songs that you often listen to or that mean a lot to you?
1. Daylight Again Crosby, Stills and Nash...can't get over protesting the war, any war
2.The Old Ways Loreena McKennett something so haunting about the sound and rhythm
3. A New York Minute Don Henley...yep, it can happen that fast
4. Southern Cross Crosby, Stills and Nash okay, okay, I am an aging hippy, but I have seen them in concert too many times and when they were young the harmony was angelic
5. Solitary Man Neil Diamond...aha, I got ya...so I was a teenager and thought I could save some man from hinself...too funny now

5. What three people are you going to pass this baton to and why?
Rayna of studio78notes because we once wandered the streets of Philly in search of a bar
Karoda of SeamlessSkin because I love the way she writes..so hip..gotta be better than us old fools
Carol of The Elephants Child with a title like that you just gotta know

And One More Thing

Having tried many times I still can't get the artfuquilters ring html to appear on my blog. This is very disconcerting since I have good directions. Obviously we have an operator problem, Houston. My apologies to my fellow members...I will keep on trying. How dumb can I be? Don't answer that.

The Complaint Department

Okay, most of y'all know that I live in Texas but maybe not exactly where in the Lone Star state. Watauga is actually a suburb of Fort Worth. My house is about 20 minutes NW of DFW airport...about 200 miles from Oklahoma City...which in Texas is just down the road apiece. We all know that summer is hotter than an oven but winter is supposed to be easy. What??? The weather guessers are predicting 1 to 3 inches of snow. The temperature is falling like a rock and I have no food in the house.....yikes! So I get myself bundled up and off to the grocery store. First complaint, why do I have to do this? Why wasn't I smart enough to do it yesterday when it was a balmy 46 F? Reason: I was in the studio working.

Second complaint: All these new ideas and so little time to do them. All of you who work by hand will appreciate that there just aren't enough hours in the day. However, I love the process in which I work, love the way the quilts look and feel, and don't plan on changing. There is a problem in this mindset. Time. I was asked to do a quilt for the Pilgrim-Roy challenge in Paducah....good cause since they are auctioned off next year to raise money for MAQS. How do you say no to that?

Finally get the design done....which, of course, sparks several new ideas....and start sewing. But is that what I want to do? Nah...I want to be working on the new designs. But there is a deadline of April something so I am being a good girl.

Third complaint: My kitchen is a pit. Two days of dirty dishes...so bad for the hands to do dishes when you are a hand sewer. None the less, they must be done...#$%! As soon as I finish complaining, I will tackle the biohazard.

Fourth Complain: I haven't taken a stitch yet today. Why? Working on other projects, no. Cleaning the house, no. It was the grocery store.....the dreaded shopping for sustanence. I am so over trying to think of what to eat, what to cook and having to buy it. Bleech!

Fifth Complaint: Tomorrow is Ronnie's birthday....yikes! I totally forgot. There is nothing to buy for the man who won't tell you what he wants. Although there are a few things I could think of for myself....but stop...it's his birthday....sorry I lost myself in a shopping fugue for a moment.
The only solution is to make him some dark chocolate almond candy. Receipe: 1 large bar Hershey's special dark chocolate, 1 bar Ghiradelli's bittersweet chocolate, 1 lb. raw almonds.
Toast almonds at 350F. for 9-11 minutes. When you can smell them you know they are ready.
Cool almonds. Melt both bars of chocolate in microwave, about 3 minutes or until soft. Pour cool almonds in chocolate; stir. Spoon onto wax paper to cool. If you are in a hurry, put them in the fridge to cool.

Sixth Complaint: Making the candy will keep from sewing until tomorrow afternoon. Why?

Bleech!

In spite of my best attempts with new photos and adding more from the series, these piece just look pitiful. Trust me, ya sure, in person they are much better. Small background: these are from drawings that I did many years ago visiting the children's science museum with my sons. Dinosaur bones, geological formations, etc. Then one day, I found myself on an airplane...imagine that..and saw amazing patterns from on high. Combined with the old sketches the Earth Strata series was born. More to come, hopefully.

Earth Strata 3: Above 

Earth Strata 2 detail 

Earth Strata (trying again) 

Earth Strata

This is one in the new direction for my work. My apologies for the horrible resolution...and the color is off...and some how the quilt isn's straignt in the photo. So much for being good at the photo thing. Spending the day doing useful tasks such as washing a mound of laundry. Also deciding how to pack for summer in Australia when it is February in Texas. Enough comments for today.

On Becoming High Maintence

Time for a little narrative about my journey for the last two years. As an aging hippy chick bringing up four sons, I allowed myself to gain up to some 150 lbs. I say some because some days it was only 150; some days it was a teeny bit more. Remember, I am a quiltmaker so that requires sitting on your flat butt for hours at a time. (If I could just learn how to applique standing up.) So as you might have guessed, this was not a pretty picture. Even worse, I am 5'5", small boned and with skinny legs and arms....so at that weight I was your basic olive with tooth picks stuck in it. I, mean holy guacamole, I weighed less when I gave birth to each of the boys. What is a post menapausal woman to do?

"Vanity thy name is woman." As much as I didn't want to buy into this having to be thin thing, I knew this was not good for my health and more importantly wasn't going to get any better as the years went by. Exercise to me was walking to the mail box, going to the grocery store or cleaning the bathroom (which I might add is still a pretty good work out if you only do it once a month).

Steps must be taken....I am becoming the blob. (I should add here my husband, Ronnie is 5'8" and weighs about 140.) Not only am I am blob but also bigger than my ever so thin sweet man. It's a gene thing. I have fought for years to be smaller than Ronnie. When we got married I weighed 99 lbs and he weighed 120 lbs.....what happened to me.

But I digress, almost two years ago my son Craig married the love of his life Kelly. I decided to lose weight for the wedding....don't you hate all those pictures of yourself in the mother of the groom dresses. I managed to lose 15 lbs on Atkins but was not going to exercise, never, ever, no way. Even with that attitude I managed to keep the 15 off for a year.

Around November of the wedding year, Ronnie found this place that taught pilates and yoga. On his suggestion we signed up for 5 private sessions of pilates. The rest is history.....I am so devoted to pilates...it is the best thing since sliced bread and I am loving every minute of it. Problem solved; found an exercise program I could do. I can stop now......but no.

In January of 2004, Ronnie decided he need a rowing machine (an erg indoor rower from Concept 2). His life was not going to be complete without this contraption so we order same. In return, I wanted a Tempurpedic matress, hoping my back and shoulders would stop hurting...so we order that. Appropriate, no? Mattress for me; exercise machine for him. And that's when it all back-fired on me.

The rowing machine arrives. Being the good wife, I unpack it, get out the tools, some assembly required and when Ronnie comes home from work, there is his shiny new machine just waiting for him to use. And that would be the end of that...he has been on it once. I on the other hand have rowed over 700,00 meters since May of 2004. I am ranked 5 out of 34 for my age range in the 30 minute ranking....6427 meters.

I went back on the diet to see if I could lose some more weight....do weight training once a week, pilates once a week, yoga once a week and row 6 days a week. The good news is I lost 35 lbs but that is when the real trouble began.

New clothes, new hair, wish I could afford plastic surgery (that extra tummy skin thing) and am all around consumed with myself. This is not a bad thing; not a good thing either. Occasionally, I get so sick of myself I can't stand it....how much longer can I be Gabrielle Swain. Other days, I seriously want that $900 Donna Karan black pant suit...so New York, and I would look so cute. Don't worry I am smarter than that but the thought did cross my mind.

Moral of the story: You can change for the better and more expensive also. I would be happy to guide you down that road....don't forget Kate Spade purses, Stuart Weitzman shoes, manicure and pedicure, massages, your own colorist, a personal trainer............bleech!