Things are getting more and more eccentric at Casa de la Swain. Changing styles in my textile work, falling in love again with painting and photography...and then there is the ever illusive quest for continuing creativity through working with Eric Maisel. Still on the road teaching, posting now at the Ragged Cloth Cafe and taking the pledge to keep handmaiden up to date.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Trying to get out of a Miserable Funk

With everything going on in our world, I am fighting a deep, low down funky blues. Before I left for Long Island, I was firing on all cylinders, but as soon as I got home, the blues hit. Haven't even been in the studio since returning....haven't taken a stitch in the newly layered quilts....haven't been working on Quilt Market stuff because who knows if that will even happen.
I have every reason in the world to be in a good mood....new grandkidlet, new work but I am overwhelmed with a sense of deep, down to the bone tired...mentally and physically.

This is just a part of the creative cycle I am sure but I feel as if I need a good kick in the butt. How can all this be happening at once? The obvious bungling of the Katrina disaster is shameful. Now here comes another major disaster...will we be better prepared? Everyone says yes but that won't stop the power of mother nature.

My heart keeps telling me that I need a good old fashioned break down and cry, but I'm afraid if I start I won't be able to stop. I am holding on tightly to the love of my family. Charles had surgery that went well and he is on the mend. The twins are growing like weeds. Benjamin Jace is patiently waiting to meet grandma.....and sweet Ronnie is throwing all kinds of love my way...."you have just been working too hard"....."you need to just do nothing for a few days."

Guess the cure is waiting for me in the studio....art heals the heart and soul....so maybe that's the solution...will try to do something, anything to get my head straight....feel some fabric and play loud rock 'n roll. Take some time today to let everyone know how much you love them....our time together is all too short for anything but compassion.

7 comments:

Valeri said...

Come on you can do it! Go and fondle some fabric! This hits all of us who over achieve, at times we least need it. Life goes on and its better ongoing with a smile than a frown. Don't feel you HAVE to do anything. Enjoy! Hey, I'm buying TWO of your DVD's! Now that's good isn't it! :-)

Heron said...

Gabrielle,

I understand, the events in the world are often unbearable these past few years (and don't get me started on govt), and the sadness works its way deep into our soul. Regardless of all the things we have to be grateful for, it's hard not to give in to the blues. Be patient with yourself, it will pass, do something that brings you joy or is just plain decadent. Take action to make your little corner of the world a bit better. Wishing you a return to your normal self,

Fabienne

Debra said...

Gabrielle,

I do not believe in "just pick yourself up" mentality. I have found that often comes back to bite me in the butt.

So I say find a great sobby movie, watch it, and sob yourself sick. A good cry is very cathartic (and probably would have helped me a couple weeks ago...). Make your nose as red as your hair (choose any 2 of the colors... we know crying makes one blotchy too).

And you HAVE to stop... eventually everything washes out, you fall asleep and wake up surprisingly refreshed.

Then get up, row yourself to Canada... and get back to living.

Karoda said...

Gabrielle, to borrow a line from a poem, "how the blues gonna heal you if keep calling it all a haint?" for a while, sometimes we just have to sit a spell with the blues and let it talk to us...and you know my cure when it gets overwhelming...cut off the news and play music loud. hangeth in there.

mary m. said...

Gabrielle,

Today is the autumnal equinox. It is a transitional time. A few people I've been with today are a little off, manifesting with physical symptoms.

Being a creative person with strong ties to nature (judging by your beautiful leaf quilts and organic shapes), you are sensitive to this phenomen. It will pass, and soon you'll back to your old self, but renewed.

ginger said...

I have a friend whose mother gave the best advice for times such as these.....take your bra off, and put your feet up and have a glass of wine...I'm doing exactly that right now!!! Ginger

Deb R said...

Hope you're feeling better today (((Gabrielle)))

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