Holding on to the Energy

As many of you have experienced, when you are in the workshop environment you are surrounded by a bubble of creative energy. You know exactly what you want to do and have no external influences to distract you. Plus you have an instructor to facilitate and guide you through your project. Returning home you are filled with all this energy and then the real world hits you in the face like a wet wash rag. You get distracted by the phone, daily necessities and life in general so the creative energy starts to leak out. This is a common, shared experience but it need not happen.

While I returned home faced with all the necessities of getting ready for Quilt Market and Festival, I still have access to all the energy from the retreat. Granted I am not working on a new quilt, painting, or series of photographs, I am doing all the graphic design work for the new dvd, the dvd magazine and brochures. These are still projects that require the creative skills of design and composition along with creative writing. Also, I know that studio work is on the horizon and that the focus required for that is available to me when the time comes.

How am I managing to not let the creative energy from the workshop slowly leak out? By maintaining a simple practice Eric guided us through in Taos......and I am going to share that secret with you. I highly recommend this simple but powerful book filled with all the tools you need to keep your life as an artist accessible every day and at any time. Also if you visit Eric's site (see previous post), you can visit the Ten Zen Seconds website and sign-up for the newsletter associated with the book.

Don't be concerned about the word Zen; instead be excited about the way in which Eric combines Eastern and Western processes. There are no exotic positions or life-long dedications to hours of learning how to clear your mind and rid yourself of your ego. The book is exactly what it purports to be...."10 Seconds."

These simple practices are keeping me riding the crest of the wave of energy from the workshop. They are guiding me through the transition in my work free from all the angst I had previously posted. Simply put this will help you stop the world and get into the zone where ideas and work flow free from distractions both internal and external.

Even better the practices can be done anywhere at any time............probably not while driving your car but possibly if you can focus without closing your eyes. If this post is beginning to sound like a commercial, please don't consider that. My excitement and endorsement of this book is because I have found a practice that really works....and not just for me but for artist of all disciplines.

The practices are something we all probably know already and have experienced when we get to the work and get so lost in it we lose track of time.....but that means we have to be in that space. We wait for the muse to call, for the closet in the back room to be organized or my favorite avoidance techniques, cleaning the pantry or spice cabinet. While I am disciplined about my work when all is right with the world, I am easily distracted when the smallest event occurs. This small book has re-affirmed my commitment and given me back the awareness that I can do everything I want to do.

After the longest post on record, I leave you to get back to work....here's to exploring, experimenting and creating more art.

Creativity for Life Workshop

For those of you who read my blog, you will be laughing at this one....I am almost speechless. This weekend has possibly been one of the most valuable things I have ever done. I will be eternally grateful to John and Viv of Art of the Song for organizing this workshop......and to Eric Maisel for his deep understanding of the artist's life.

The creative energy in the room was palpable. There were writers, musicians, perforance artist, painters, glass artist and visual artist of all disciplines in attendance. Some of us with established careers and some seeking how to fit their need to create into existing day job careers. No matter where we were we all faced the same issues. Some of us had resolved issues that others were still addressing but had other issues just as relevant and in need of attention.

Eric got right to the point covering all these blocks or avoidances. Best of all he left us with accessible tools to handle whatever was keeping us from our creative life. I am so
excited to get home and start putting these practices into action. Just the realization that I have been my own worst enemy this past year was a revelation. Now I feel empowered to correct my internal dialogue and trust my instincts.

Whatever your discipline, get thy self to a creativity coach. You won't regret it. Eric also teaches coaching and during this process you can receive free coaching as a part of their training. Of course, you can also work with Eric as well if you choose to. He has a library of published works that are invaluable. Check out his web site www.ericmaisel.com It will provide you with all the information on books and workshops. You can all subscribe to his weekly newsletter full of his travels and information to keep you leading the creative life.

In January I will be hosting a blog tour of his book Van Gogh Blues....stay tuned. It looks to be very exciting. Words/language, how you allow your internal dialogue to effect you
are something we all need to be mindful of and Eric has the tools to keep these in the active part of your practice, devotion, love of the work.

At the moment, I feel reborn, fearless and eager to get back to the work.....I know I will encounter obstacles along the way but now feel capable of overcoming whatever might come my way. Viv and John have plans to continue the workshops yearly; possibly increasing them to five days or longer. I will keep you updated on their plans. However, you can always get the information from Eric's site.

So I return home today full of ideas and how to implement them, in love with making my own meaning, and erasing negative internal dialogue. Best of all, I return with a deep respect for the creative process of all the artist that attended the workshop and all of you who are working your way through the joy of living a creative life.

A Reversal of Roles

When you travel and teach and try to run a business, you get so involved that you often forget to take time for yourself. There just aren't enough hours in the day. I am either at the computer or in the airport but this weekend I am giving myself a gift. I am packing but not for a teaching gig. I am packing for a trip as a student. My excitement is growing daily.
As i have mentioned earlier in posts, I am attending the Creativity for Life retreat in Taos conducted by Eric Maisel. Eric was, probably will always be, my coach. He opened many new doors for me but it was all by phone or email. The prospect of meeting this amazing, gifted mentor in person has me feeling like a kid meeting Santa Claus.
This couldn't be happening at a worse time with trying to get ready for Houston Market and Festival looming on the horizon.....but I am going regardless. For many reasons, this is absolutely necessary. First, to kick start or continue the transition in my work. Second, so I can bring more to my students when I teach. Teaching has been a gift for me as all of you who teach know you often learn more from your students than they realize. However, I have never been satisfied with developing a class and then just continuing to teach it in exactly the same way each time.
To me teaching is also a learning process in which I continue to study the subject matter to bring new ideas and possibilities to the class through time. Just recently, I purchased three new books to work through for new approaches to two of my classes. My reverse applique class has always done well but i decided there needed to be more offer. Put on my thinking cap and have developed two new techniques to present to the students. It is so exciting to see the light bulbs turn on when students are presented with new material. You can see the wheels turning as they are thinking how they can apply this to their work.
However, occasionally the teacher needs to become the student....and this is my opportunity. I need to add some water to the well....so in turn I can bring fresh ideas back to my teaching. Also, I need to get back to the studio to re-charge my batteries. Can you tell I am ready to be there already?
I am taking my laptop so will try to post some of the events. I have no idea how the class will be formatted but I know it will be worthwhile and invaluable. So while sweet Ronnie is enjoying his retirement, I am still enchanted with opening doors to potential.
While retirement is appealing, since it would mean I could devote all my time to making art. I haven't reached the point yet where I am willing to give up the exchange between teacher and student. So I guess you are stuck with me for a little longer....like the bad penny that keeps coming back.
Wishing you all a productive fall and hope fully will have good news to report from Taos.

What Me Make Art!

Now the awful truth is out. You have for time and all eternity the reason why I am not in the studio. The first photograph is the editing section. We have a computer solely dedicated to editing....which is the only way to go as far as I can tell. Avid Liquid is a huge program and requires 400 mg every 30 second to save the work you have done. Yep, you read that correctly. Amazing huh?
So this has been my trail by fire....learning how to edit, getting the look I want and then trying to get the blasted thing to burn. Marvin, my tech guy, has been so patient with me and is still working on the problem. At this point I am going to win. This machine will not defeat me but it sure is beating me about the head and shoulders.
This baby is my office computer. As you can see there are stacks of paper work to get through but you will be surprised. Since I can't edit at the moment, I actually gutted it up and sloughed through all the paper and several emails. There is a light at the end of this tunnel.....even though I still feel like a slave to the machine. Hopefully, clearing out some of the clutter will help my chi or re- align my stars.
Now to the saddest of tales...could you work in this? Yes, this is my studio. Only recognizable by the quilt on the design wall. When Thom moved home from Waco, the studio got co-opted as a storage space. Now if I was a good person, I would be quilting on all the pieces I have layered up....still numbering in the single digits only up to 5.
But noooooo, never let it be said that I can multi-task to this point. In my old age I can only do two things at the same time and have them done well. So taking my own advice, I am waiting until all the other tasks are squared away so I can give the quilting line my full attention.

I have said before that I think we all to often short change the quilt when it comes to the line work that the quilting stitch creates. Line work is one of the strongest elements in design and can make or break a quilt. For my money, we should be contemplating the quilting line as we design the piece since it will have such a profound effect on the finished piece. After all, it is like a drawn line that attracts attention and gives makes certain areas advance while causing others to recede. Whenever I start a new piece, I always think I have just the right design, get about an 18" square quilted and slap myself on the forehead with the "What was I thinking?" I take it all out and start again knowing what should be there...but I had to see the incorrect line work before the right design came to me. Sounds like an operator problem to me....which is my story of the past two months...operator error on all fronts.
To wrap this tome up, never short change your quilts when it comes to the line work. My usual modus operandi is to put the quilt on the design wall as it is now and let it rest. Look at it from different angles...see how the light hits one area or another...basically allow the piece to tell me what it needs.
However, this studio is in need of rescue...guess I could take up playing the guitar since there is one in the case awaiting....that'll be the day....ooohh, great title for a song but I think it has already been used. Off to tackle more of the computer disasters.....stay tuned...a resolution has to come soon.

Remember the self portrait studies

Since I am on a mad frenzy of posting, I thought I would post the latest in my self portrait studies. These are all done for my own purposes of self-discovery but they are also a quick art fix.
What I notice the most is how much older I look than last year. There is a tiredness that wasn't there....probably from not exercising....or just another year older. Nah!
I have tried to explain to sweet Ronnie what not making art has done to me...spiritually, mentally and physically but I just can't seem to find the words that he can relate to.
Of course all of you understand what I am trying to say. There is a hole in my existence....no pun intended but I am no longer whole. The parts are all there but just not in working order.
For me, making art adds meaning to my life that nothing else can fulfill. It doesn't mean I love my family less or don't want to be professional regarding my business. Making art is an entirely different space. In part, I have gotten out of the habit due to circumstances beyond my control. However, when I do have a moment there is still
a lack of energy.
This to shall pass but brother am I tired of whatever this phase is. Anyway the photos at least keep me in touch with some comoposition skills.
Watch out I might post again tomorrow....faint and fall over.
Maybe not your favorite but reminds me of a shot from an old film noir movie...if only my nails were painted blood red.
Really liked the angle of my shoulder and where the dot of my strawberry mark fit into the scene. Weird one should like their strawberry marks but I have more which cannot be revealed in mixed company.

Thank You Dear Friends

You will never know my delight when I checked my blog and found all your comments. It really made my day to hear from all of you especially my old buddies Caity, Valori, and Sharon. Not that this will mean much to you Valori but I am so ready to come back to Australia...sure do miss my visits to Melborne. 2008 will be the first year since they started AQC that I won't be there...sigh!

Patsy thanks for the offer of your husband's tech support. Unfortunately, I edit with Avid Liquid a Pinnacle Systems program. Marvin, my techie, and I are totally baffled by what is happening but it's his product so I am hopeful he can figure it out.

Naturally the thing I am missing the most is making art. This is the longest period in my entire life that I haven't done something. Gotta tell you it is making me totally neurotic. I haven't even put pencil to sketchbook much less touched fabric. If this was a chosen respite to cogitate on new work but this has been a forced avoidance because of business.....which makes me nuts. I totally feel like I have lost touch with who I am as an artist.....but keeping the faith it will return when all this is over.

Not much else to report.....Ronnie and I are still adjusting to his retirement and my still working. Thom's bar exam results are expected on November 2nd while I am in Houston. He has had to swear in blood to call immediately upon receipt. I did actually finish a novel that I had been reading for about six months.....took it to the bath with me every night after sitting over the computer. Real exciting stuff, no?

Enough nattering just wanted to thank you all for the comments....surely soon I will be back harping to you about making art. Oh one exciting piece of news Get Creative, an Australian magazine, did a nice profile about me in the September issue.....maybe Sharon and Caity can check it out.

And Jana I totally agree with the computer being a vampire that sucks the creativity right out of you.

Gabrielle Who?

After all my promises to be a better blogger, life got in the way. It has ranged from hectic to grim to give up all hope ye who enter around here. I have finally learned the editing program only to lose the edit three times when trying to export it to burn a master. I haven't been able to get any work done....art type. After reformatting my hard drive, lost my word program and have been trying to convert all my documents into rich text files in Open Office. The list goes on and on.
Every morning I wake up ready to go and somehow between noon and 3 everything goes south.

On top of all that I had jury duty for a week. Glad I did my civic duty but hope it is a long time before I have to do that again.Although Tarrant County has raised jury duty to $40 a day so I actually got a pay check. However, the time lost from work has me running as fast as I can.

The good news is next week I get to go to Taos for the Creativity for Life retreat. Ah, time to take a breath and exhale and get back in touch with something other than paper work and computers. What a treat.

We are in the process of getting ready for Quilt Market and Festival so it is imperative I get this edit to work. But, I gotta say tech support is less than helpful. They will only communicate via email instead of by phone.....visions of me trying to explain something I don't understand. I can't even explain to them what is wrong without them telling me that can't happen....sure guys...but it just did.

I am near the point of just giving up but too stubborn to do so. However, I am taking today off before I crash and burn. Why is it sitting a the computer all day is more exhausting than doing physical labor?

So you can imagine the blog has gone to seed after spending 10 to 12 hours at the computer, blogging got left out of the mix. I will make no more promises of being better but will try to drop in more frequently.

I miss all of you and reading your posts...hopefully after this crunch is over life will return to some semblance of reality. Thinking of you all often.

This Artist and the Ego

When I first started contemplating being a visual artist instead of a performance artist, much of that decision was based on a inner search for some deeper meaning in my life and how man fits into the scheme of nature...the grand plan if you will. I am not trying to sell anything or suggest this is a path for everyone just telling a story.

My perception is not that we have dominion over the planet but instead is more as if we are a part of the network that is the web of life on the planet. More simply put we are just another aspect of nature as valuable as trees and grass, etc but not separate from them.

The entire body of my work has been based on this relationship between man, mostly myself, and nature. I didn't choose this theme with intent; it chose me. I am still chewing on this piece of gum. However, with the planet in an obvious major transition, my work seemed to want to move in a new direction as well. This has been an intense struggle for me....like trying to find your way in an unfamiliar dark room.......which, along with many other family and business demands.....is why you have not been seeing any new work on the blog

Trying to overcome this dilemma, I have spent many hours in thought.....always a good way to stop working...and have finally come to a realization that part of the problem was that pesky ego thing. Would I still have an audience if I changed style...what would happen to my teaching dates, etc. Although I have spent many years practicing meditation and tyring to rid myself of ego to enter into a place of deeper spiritual awareness, the ego rushed back in full force to protect itself.....it liked being Gabrielle Swain and wasn't ready to endanger that.

Basically, I was at war with myself....when suddenly the light bulb turned on. The simple answer was to step out of the way and let the art make itself. Quit trying to force the work in any particular direction just be silent and wait. Accept whatever comes as a gift and tell my ego to pack up all the luggage and either get ready for a new trip or leave town.

My firm belief has always been that art is for the artist....a process of discovery, finding meaning and tapping into unknown areas of self. The second part of the equation...the viewer...is out of my control. How my work effects the viewer is a truly unknown conversation.

Sorry for the long post but this has been the culmination of a journey....so I am stepping aside, removing the ego factor and eagerly awaiting what will manifest from this decision. It is almost as if i am starting back of at he beginning...a very exciting process.

Thank you four recent comments and for putting up with my diatribes, This is an amazing community so valuable to our work. So the new journey begins, I will try to keep you posted on the progress. But in closing, while the ego is necessary, fame, fortune and all the trappings are not the focus. It is the work that leads us down the road to that place of understanding.

Stepping off the soap box in the hope that this made some sense. Thank you for your patience in this stream of consciousness post.

Being Off the Road

This is a whole new world. Adapting to being at home has been a real challenge which has also been a real surprise to me. Of course, I know this is only a short respite but it has been quite interesting. Just a couple of oddities: all of my cd's are completely out of order and the house is in danger of being closed by the board of health.
Not that I am the greatest at cleaning in the first place but this is beyond the pale. With Thom coming home, I did the bare minimum but it made me realize how bad it was. The only two rooms worth any good comment were the studio and the office. How odd, huh? Naturally they were the best out of necessity since they are the two rooms where I spend the most time. The lesson I learned is that I am not house proud.
Let me clarify: I love my house and all the doo-dads, especially the blue glass, but we don't entertain so I don't feel the need to live in a show case. Sweet Ronnie and I are truly reclusive. We enjoy each other and we both fiercely guard our private time. Who would I be showing our home to?
Instead of a show case, we have a livable home. Everything is about comfort and not worrying if something is out of place. However, I must admit one can take this just so far. It isn't the dust, or the dirty dishes that is driving me nuts. It is the clutter. Unread stacks of books and magazines, clothes thrown in a pile from one trip to another, shoes tossed in another pile, papers that need to be shredded.....and those @#$% cd's. It is overwhelming how lax I have been in dealing with these simple tasks.
On the brighter side, it is good to be rested and finally coming out of total exhaustion. I am so excited about working on the dvd zine which is falling into place almost too easily. It is a challenge learning to edit and a gift to have the time to do so....and a joy that on Tuesday I will get to spend the day with my grandson , Gareth (Charles and Christy's youngest) since he lives in Virginia with his mom.
So the clutter will just have to be dealt with in small segments....it will get done but just living in a timeless world takes precedence at the moment. I often don't know what day it is since neither of us are working. I never realized what a luxury that would be....to be free from time.
I plan on wallowing in that luxury for as long as possible because it will end all too quickly.

Thank You Louise

While in my usual repose on sofa reading, I found this quote from Louise Nevelson whose work I admire immensely.

"Logic, where you ponder and, oh dear, it sounds so fancy----what in the hell do you need it for?

It measures you and limits you. See now take a word like imagination. Imagination is not vague. Imagination is flash thinking, instantaneous." Louise Nevelson 1900-1988

Well slap myself on the forehead and shut my mouth. What I have been doing is trying to put some rational, logical reason in my head for not working. Kinda Freud on demand. I can no more make a logical reason for this than I can stop breathing...well let's hope I don't stop breathing. Being an artist is akin to being a child, playful, open and curious as to why all those adults are so weird. Problem solved: I became an adult.

Granted it is hard not to do with the world in its current state of chaos....one feels the heavy weight of adulthood deeply. But as Louise stated so beautifully all the logic and pondering I might do will not change anything but me. Artist must be optimist, knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that they are an intrinsic part of that light.

I am not implying one should not take responsibility for their actions...as a matter of fact that is the major problem we are currently experiencing.....it is always someone else's fault....not the Attorney General, the Republicans and Democrats, the VP or the President. Some unknown is at fault...gee, I wish we could find that person and put an end to all this.

One must guard their creative energy like a mother lion with her cubs. If we aren't always on the look-out, a world weary energy creeps in and steals it away piece by piece. We must always be aware of the power that creating gives us....to soothe the emotions of others, to bring beauty into an uncertain world. I am reminded of Franklin Roosevelt's WPA projects in which he hired artist and craftsman as well as engineers and labor. Some of the most beautiful of the projects are still with us and were created in a deeply troubled world. However, these artists brought to the poor and unemployed, hope and joy from the beauty of the work.

So Mr. President, VP and all the other pundits that have put us in a dark place, I will defy you and pledge to bring beauty into this world. I will stop thinking and start doing....even if it isn't successful, I will continue to try. Imagination will be my constant companion and logic can go jump in the lake.

Eye Candy

Just a few glimpses from around my house....a picture is worth a thousand words.

The Lost is Found and Other Stuff

Ta da! I found the illusive cable hiding in my projector case....right where it belonged. What idiot put it there I have no idea but now the blog won't be so unattractive. I was not going to give up I knew it was in this house. Now I think I will turn it into some lovely piece of jewelry so I will always have it on my body. Sigh of relief.

Since I am behind in pictures here is an assortment of oddities. Chris made me post a new picture of him so you wouldn't think he was actually as fat as the previous picture. Here he is hard at work setting up one of the cameras for our last project. As you can see, he is quite intense about the angle of the shot. We did this shoot in a record two days...all to his skill. Thanks, sweetie.


The next photo I couldn't resist. My last teaching gig in California we were using light boxes as usual but the room had great light for sewing which was interfering with the
light box. The ambient light in any room shines down on the light box while the light box is pushing light upward. Occasionally they really get into an argument. Mark was working on a fairly dark fabric so that didn't help. Creativity abounds.....he used the old camera technique of covering the lens while viewing the subject.

I had such fun with this class. What a hoot! I told them I thought we had more fun than what we learned but they disagreed....and it wasn't just the class, it was the entire guild. During the lecture, there was plenty of interaction and lots of laughs. Thanks for a great trip.

Last photo gives me just the excuse I needed to not be working. Now I can blame it on someone else instead of my laziness and other questionable reasons. Thom moved home Tuesday from Baylor. Since I co-opted his old room for my office, the poor thing doesn't even have room for his bed. We got out the Aero mattress and stuffed the rest of his life
in the studio. Just the excuse I needed for my total lack of productivity.

Regarding my lack of working again, (I promise I will shut up about this soon) I am totally baffled. I have never gone this long without doing something my whole life. I am constantly questioning is it all over....time to move onto something else....retire...what?
Still hoping the October retreat in Taos will shed some light on this fallow period but what if it doesn't. Panic!

I have become exquisitely good at sitting on the sofa reading or watching bad tv. I got out a layered quilt the other day put about ten stitches in and went ...nah! Put the sucker right back where it was and went back to the sofa. It wouldn't bother me so much if I could just stop thinking about it and enjoy the sofa. However, there is always this little kernel in the pit of my stomach that makes me believe something is wrong with me. I try telling myself that I am incubating some great new series and that when
the energy returns, it will be even better than before.

Blame it on the heavens...maybe my planets are all mis-aligned. Would you guys get it together...puleeze! I never dreamed of a day that I would not want to make quilts....I still don't believe it....but for sure I am not doing it.

Now that I have my camera cable back, I think I will go out and shoot off something. Maybe that will help. I just gotta get it together before I drive everyone, including y
all nuts.

Lost Something Again

This cleaning thing is for the birds. Remember my last lost transparency and sketch. That went well after reverse engineering and the new dvd is ready to be edited. However, now I have gone and lost my USB cable to my new camera. It is cord world around here anyway. We have chargers for cell phones, laptop chargers, a power box for the editing computer so you have time to save what you are working on in case of a power outage but no camera cables. I decided to do this Feung Shei (okay I spelled that wrong) thing in my office, moving furniture, placing things facing east (apparently my direction for good fortune) and doing an overall re-organization. Suddenly no camera cable. I am stymied.
I had just been using it for the Florida pictures and now I can't find it anywhere. Gremlins are afoot in the cord world of my house.
The real question is why was I cleaning again. Two answers: Avoiding working in the studio and son Thomas finally coming home from Baylor. He took the bar exam last week. 3 days fifteen hours each and has to drive down on the 10th of this month to take another test....some sort of multi-state thing.
Glad to have him home for awhile but the house was a pit. Don't get excited I only did the bare minimum but tomorrow have to make a trip to the grocery store. Ronnie and I are so accustomed to just the two of us that we don't buy big any more. However, Thom is still a growing boy and wants to eat lots.
Back to the bar exam, I am sure it was a monster but here's the bad news...he won't know if he passed until November. Sheesh! I would be a bundle of nerves. For me that isn't so far away because of having to get ready for Houston but for him it has to be torture. On the brighter side, every single Baylor Law graduate who took the test in February passed. Woo hoo! Of all the law schools in Texas, Baylor has the highest number of graduates who pass the bar the first time....something like 96%. So everyone keep their fingers crossed for Thom...he has worked so hard....two undergrad degrees in 3 years, graduated summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa and now 3 years at Baylor. I think he needs a break. No pressure from us to get a job...we are going to let him chill awhile before we start whining.
How boring this is going to be with no pictures...ugh! To reason number one, avoiding the studio. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I have several quilts started in various stages of production, tons of drawings and just can't seem to do anything. Every morning I wake-up with the today is the day and then nothing. Sweet Ronnie says I am just re-charging my batteries from so much traveling but all I could think about when I was on the road was being in the studio.....and how wonderful that was going to be. Enough whining, surely someday it will hit me to work again.
Rhonda asked in my post on photography how I got two pictures in the post. Hey Rhonda thanks for the comment. I use Picassa 2 which allows me to click a dot that holds the pictures I want to post. It does have a limit...like possibly 3 or four pictures in one post but give it a try. I downloaded it free from Google. Are most of us using Picassa? It is kinda quirky occasionally but is pretty reliable. Of course, you have to have camera cables to upload from your camera. I'll shut up now. This post is way to long and has said nothing but the news about Thom. Be back soon.

Two posts in one day...a miracle

Just because I haven't been quilting or painting or doing much but sitting around watching bad tv, doesn't mean there still isn't a little creativity spark at work. When the tv gets to much to bare, I have been honing my Photoshop skills.
The first photo is the view looking up from our front porch. The second is from a Simple Still Life post last year that I have reworked to heighten the ink in the bottle. Can stitching be far behind?
When you find yourself stuck on a piece or just not motivated or possibly with little time or inclination, try working in a different media. You never know what ideas it might spark for a quilt....or maybe you will love the new media and add it to your creative cycle.
Promise that's all for today. Got to put the final touches on the studio: light, moving out the ironing board, etc.

Ready for my Close-up Mr. DeMille

Arriving tonight at 8:50p.m. is my beloved son, Chris. He is the man behind the camera in the dvd's. He is also the consummate director, set designer, videographer and general all around pain in the you know what. For one dvd, I had to make fifteen outfit changes before he was happy with the way it looked in the camera....but he knows his stuff. I am sure he will not be happy with the fact that I have gained 10 lbs....no more distressed than I am, I assure you.
However, I am so grateful to his wonderful wife, Jillaine, for allowing him the time away from their family to shoot "Designing Applique Quilts" which we will release at Fall Market and Festival.....along with the launch of the DVD zine "Behind the Seams." Since he has a full time job with Toyota, I will be doing the filming for the magazine, which I am sure he will critique to no end, but he can't just at the drop of a hat fly to Taos to interview Eric Maisel and Viv and John of ArtSong for the Creativity for Life Retreat....so wish me luck on that one.
He will also hate that I posted this picture since he has lost weight since then but hey, if I am going to look ten pounds heavier, I think it is only fair.
The studio is ready.....projects ready....filming storyboarded so tomorrow morning we start production. We will probably go into the wee hours since I have to leave on the 21st for a gig in California. I have complete faith that he will keep me on task...funny the role reversal of your son telling his mom what to do and what not to do. I think he loves it. And on a personal note, I am proud that he is his own man and has left the nest strong and capable. He is a man fully grown, especially after his 6 years in the Army, which, of course included a tour in Iraq.
All of my sons amaze me. They are all incredibly talented in each of their fields. Craig and Chris are extremely talented in their own right but have to make a living that art wouldn't support. I hope that in the future they can get back to their art. Chris is an incredible painter and obviously photographer. Craig is a 3-D guy who does amazing sculptural work from origami to a formula he developed using plaster of paris with glazes and is also my computer guru, handling the websites and speaking a language only his dad understands. Charles is not only a 3-D artist who is building an HO scale model of a section of Route 66 through Arizona but also hosts a indie radio show and does some technical writing for model railroading. His love is poetry but we know how much $ that makes. Last but not least, Thomas, who can barely draw and straight line or sign his name legibly, is the best debater, gift of gab and general all around performer. His bar exams are coming up this month. Every on keep your fingers crossed he passes the first time.
Not sure where all this talent came from but they have it in their dna. So as Pete Townsend said of the generation of hippies that raised children in the counter-culture, "The kids are all right.....in spite of us." Or maybe because of us, our home motto was always "Do the right thing." You will know when you aren't...you can feel it in your gut, the vibes get bad....walk away.
So , my darling son, I await your arrival this evening and getting to see you smiling face and some big hugs. Will keep you posted on the filming progress as the task master puts me through my paces.

Julie London and C-Span

What could the two of these possibly have in common? As I sit writing this post, I am listening to Julie London, (Oh, gawd, do I love torch singers), up next is Billie Holiday: The Lady in Autumn (the best of the Verve years) and to finish off Judy Garland: The Definitive Collection. Okay so you are wondering where the heck is she going with this? And what on earth does it have to do with C-Span?
As many of you may have heard me comment sweet Ronnie is a C-Span junkie. There is good information no doubt and excellent coverage of politics but on the weekends we have Book TV. Now don't think less of me but I can only take in so much intelligence at one time. After a few hours, it all begins to sound like blah, blah, blah.
However, this weekend Ronnie got my head out of preparing for filming to watch the author of The Feminine Mistake.....an obvious pun of The Feminine Mystique. To the point, the author is taking us to task for not taking better care of ourselves financially. Young girls are still being fed the Prince Charming story and then when he walks in years later and says I want a divorce......yikes, they are left with nothing. Worse yet they can't get back into the job market even if they have advanced degrees, like lawyer, doctor, scientist because they haven't practiced their craft even part time while caring for hubby and kids.
This has apparently caused the author to be practically mugged in the streets by what was referred to as the "mommy wars." Briefly, if you are a stay at home mom you are somehow a better mom than a working mom. Working moms aren't there for their children and are selfish for wanting an identity other than Suzy's mom or Joe's wife.
However, all the author is really saying is follow the money. Know what your financial assets are and possibly, just possibly do something that will allow you to support yourself in case Dad get ill, walks out or worse dies leaving you in the dark.
Stay with me....I'm getting to the crust of the biscuit. As I listen to these women singing these great songs, I realize some of them came out well....Julie London....some of them ended badly....Billie Holiday and Judy Garland. The only difference I can see is who was in charge of their careers. Bobby Troup produced, wrote for and managed Julie's career...always with her best interest....departing the world before she, he left her very well off but not just because of his management but his respect for her immeasurable talent. Billie and Judy got in with a bad lot early on...mostly men and ended badly.
This got me thinking how quiltmaking has empowered women to take charge of our own careers. My business in solely in my name; Ronnie's assets are in both our names.....no dummy me? Of course, Texas is a community property state so we would end up in some byzantine financial settlement.....but none the less, Texas favors women by and large.
Now since his retirement, there is a major focus on my business......but then there has been for 15 years. Our lives ran around Mom's schedule not Dad's. Our sons were brought with the role model of an egalitarian marriage. Where what mom did was just as important as what dad did.
Please don't misunderstand this diatribe. If you want to be a stay at home mom, god bless you, it isn't an easy job......but protect yourself. Keep your finger in the pie somehow....work from home like our fearless leader, Diane. Work three days a week while the kidlets are in school. But know that he who has the gold rules so keep the playing field even.
Don't avoid going to the broker when your husband visits....know all the bank accounts, investments, real estate and get your name on all of it.
Don't be like my mom who couldn't even balance her own check book, which fell to me to teach her when my dad died at 63.
And hey, dad's validate your daughters to this kind of thinking instead of some man will always come along to rescue you. Having been married more than once, supporting children and myself, I own a true debt of respect to my father who made me work in his office every summer. Back before computers, I had to do all the payroll, bookkeeping, deal with suppliers and prepare bids.
I was 14 years old.....thanks dad...I am still better with other people's money than my own but I know how should the moment strike me.
If you have made it this far, congratulations on your fortitude. The moral of the story is whatever your choice is take care of yourself.....and if you happen to have something you love, which for me is quiltmaking (since I can't sing like Julie London), explore all the options for creating your own business. I highly recommend Alyson Stansfield as a business coach....she offers a variety of classes from self-promotion to organization.
Quiltmaking is still a female dominated field.....let's try to stay on top of that and build enterprises that serve our community.
Off soap box and back to preparing for filming.

An I Told You So

Warning...warning...warning! What ever you do don't clean up your studio?

This is not a cruel hoax but a tale straight from Dickens. Knowing that we were shooting on the 18th, I got busy yesterday to clean up the mess from my previous post. Results: I can't find anything I need for the shoot.

I am going to use "Last Leaf" as an example for designing applique quilts. Do you think I can find the sketch book where the original drawing is....or even the transparency used to enlarge it, nada.
Remember my fit of frustration where I torn up all the full size cartoons that had be hanging on the studio wall for months? Gone. I keep everything very organized in folders or in the original sketch book....but they are no where to be found.

I even messed up the studio hunting for them only to have to clean it again. So my fervent prayer is don't clean until you have only a few inches in which to work. Of course, they will show up right after we finish the filming....it's a law.

The only solution was to reverse engineer. I already had the full size drawing and thank to my posting progress and good photo of the finished top. I printed out the top and will put it on the light box to get the sketch and from there create the transparency. Sheesh...what next?

I do still have all the Earth and Sky so the environmental series is in good shape..albeit either not appliqued or not quilted but at least in tact. See what happens when the bad angel on your left hand shoulder starts whispering in your ear.

'Nuf said....just remember I warned you.

Live Earth Day '07

Was anyone else as blow away by the Live Earth Day production, as I was? After being in the "film" business for several years now and finally learning about editing, this was a technical nightmare that they pulled off equisitely. While I did not watch all of the show, what I did watch had a very surprising effect on me. The transition work I have been doing has had the working title of "Earth and Sky." I know now that the subtitle will be "Global Warming." I have a drawing of dry river bed and melting ice floes...slap my self on the forehead and thank you Al Gore. It is probably no surprise that I am a small beacon of blue in a state that was once blood red and now is becoming slightly red violet. All artists probably lean toward blue because of our unflagging belief in the right to express our feelings and opinions. I respect your beliefs and would go to the mat to allow you the same rights that I hope you would allow me.

I have an unwavering trust in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights....just a little jaded by the people who are supposedly protecting and defending them. The exception is our troops, the young men and now women, who are every day in harm's way. My father served in the Pacific in WWII, my husband was sitting on Yankee Station in the Tonkien Gulf in Vietnam and my son, Chris, served for 6 years in a combat tatical tank corp in Iraq. My admiration for their bravery knows no bounds. However, the global warming issue transcends all politics. It is a moral, ethical and personal issue. If as an artist I can help bring any awareness to this issue, it is not only my responsibility; it is the least I can do. Strange when the student is ready the teacher always appears....and the energy this has engendered in me is wiping away the dark cloud hanging over my head. Looks like it is back to work thanks to Al and Kevin Wall and all the incredible musicians that took part in this endeavor.

Thank you all for your kind comments on my melt down. We are truly a community of kindred spirits. I haven't met many of you but I feel as if I know you well and your comments were like salve on an open wound....so I can never thank you enough. This to shall pass and I will not be broken....maybe a bruise here and there but they will heal.

On a minor note, if you aren't working in your studio how does it end up looking like this? Gremlins, I say or maybe studio imps. Since we are starting to film on 18 July, I guess I better get the place in a little more spiffy condition. Housework, ugh, a necessary evil. There are great advantages to being self-employed and some major dis-advantages.....I gotta talk with my boss about all the work that needs to be done but she is never home and is kinda strident about "just do it and shut up." Maybe I should be looking for a new boss? Nah! I have just gotten used to this one and all in all she is pretty easy to work for.

One more bit of trivia, it has rained for 48 days in Texas....not consecutive but several weeks of consecutive. We have a backyard that is now a swimming pool and Ronnie is getting out the Ark building supplies. Lucikly we live on a high side of the 820 Loop so we haven't been flooded but the grass in my yard could feed a herd of goats. You would think this would bring cool weather but remember we are in Texas....so you get between 80-90 degrees F. with 80 something % humidity until the rain falls. Outdoor sauna, anyone?

Here's to a productive and beautiful summer week for all.

A Brief View of Tamps's Applique Society Conference

Two photos from the Borrowed Tools class...showing before and after colored pencil. They had a blast..like kids in kindergarten...but what great work they did.

Just a quick shot of the flora we were surrounded with in Tampa....who wouldn't be inspred but these colors and forms.
Last but not least, ladies hard at work on reverse applique. We had a great time. The conference was held at the Grand Hyatt in Tampa....great food and an excellent cosmo. I tried to restrain myself but one or two before dinner was so refreshing in the warm Florida sun.

The Creative Funk Thang

As many of you know, I talk about creativity all the time.....teach it to students, give them tools to access style and develop personal work. Oh, that I had been practicing what I preach. This is kinda personal so if you aren't up for listening to me whine, stop now and go to a more cheerful blog.
Art/creativity has always been a driving force in my life. I worked in the theatre, writing, directing, acting and in arts management. During this same time I was also doing professional calligraphy work for architectural presentation.....showing my age...this was before computers and fonts. However, hand lettering still has a very classy quality. Back in the day, that would be the '60's, I even sang with a band. Long story short, I have never done much of anything in my life that wasn't involved with art...except for those pesky day jobs that pay the bills so you can do art.

Along the way there have been peaks and valleys and even plateaus but my recent absence has been from an empty well. Some of you have followed my attempts at transition in my work and for awhile it was really cooking. Then something happened, I am not able to label a day or time but I found that I lost the meaning of my work.

As I have repeated many times, art must be evocative and reveal something about the artist. What that is depends on the viewer. We cannot control what emotion our work will evoke or what they think it reveals about us. To the point, I felt I had nothing left to say. I didn't want to do production work just to sell....nothing wrong with that approach, it just isn't me. Nor did I want to skip from subject matter to subject matter. I work better in series where one quilt sparks the concept for the next......woke up one morning completely blank. There were things that interested me but nothing that held meaning for me. Due to some strange brain synapse, I feel that I must make work that is meaningful to me whether it is to the viewer or not. Long story short, I could not force myself into the studio just to crank out something.....maybe I should have just to get some energy flowing. Instead like a lot of artists, I retreated into myself.

All the old negative voices, no not the delusional kind although Ronnie might disagree, but the voices of self-doubt and what's the world need with another piece of art from me reminders. Ronnie kept trying to encourage me but I was having none of it. I was going to wallow in my misery or else, by golly. This is about the time I lost my editor and graphic designer to divorce so I had to take on those duties as well.....just another thing to do in my spare time. Literally, I was overwhelmed and could not see any solution.

Suddenly, this week it dawned on me that I wasn't living in the present but instead worrying constantly about the future and how to accomplish all the necessary business duties. Truly, I had experienced a total melt-down that art usually saves me from but I gave up the one aspect of my life that is salvation and was only focusing on the problems.

There were many days when I never moved off the sofa...stayed up until 5 a.m. thinking.....a bad drug of choice in my opinion. This was not clinical depression just sort of a mild form of insanity, which was spiraling down quickly. Of course, no one can help you but yourself in the final analysis so I started writing about what was going on in my journal.

As I read back on these infrequent entries, I hardly recognize myself. I had lost all self-discipline regarding studio time, wasn't taking to opportunity to quilt in front of the tv at night...definately just going through the motions of daily life. In essence, I had stopped being a participant/observer of my own situation and instead was letting it steam roll over me. Something had to change.

While I did not sew today or set foot in the studio, I wrote the story board for the two new dvd's.
Contacted our premier feature artist, finalized the retreat section of the dvd zine, sent all my paper work and $ to Houston leaving me free for the weekend to get back into the studio and make it my own space again. When the creative funk thang comes to visit, don't fight it...just let it run its course, like a fever. When the fever breaks, all will be well. It may take some time to get back to full steam but it will come.

What surprised me is that this came out of nowhere. I am not a fragile, delicate personality (had you noticed?); I guess it was just my turn on the wheel.

Where I Live

See two posts in one day. I am already being better. The only creative thing I have had time to do is a couple of photos of where I live. The pay advances building is a hoot because it is right next to the Chase bank drive thru....wonder which one would be more profitable?

The second photo is an empty grocery store. We are surrounded with half full strip malls and they keep on building new ones instead of trying to rent the existing spaces....so I guessed the powers that be were looking through rose colored glasses. More money to build new spaces while the old spaces fall into disrepair and no one seems to care.

Will post some photos of Tampa and The Applique Society conference later.

She Lives

Thought you could get rid of me that easy, Huh? If anyone is still out there who ever reads my blog, Im baaack. There are so many reasons for my absence they are too many to mention. ...but I will anyway.....one the road non-stop (now I know how rock stars feel, except I don't have goodies in a green room or a limo)....trying to learn Avid Liquid to edit the dvd's---a great program but more involved than Photoshop.....still adjusting to Ronnie being retired, ahem! and last but not least, another artistic crisis.....when will I stop doing that one. I know you are sick of it because I am sick of it myself.
However, the fog is lifting. I only have one more teaching date in July and then I am home until Quilt Market and Festival. The smartest thing I did this year was not book right up to the Houston grand finale. Last year I was on the road and trying to get ready for Houston. This year I hope things won't be quite so hectic.
As to the artistic crisis, it is not so much that I don' t want to work but am too tired and don't have time....which has put me in a funk. Even when I would have a week home, I was just not motivated. Solution: I have given myself a gift. I am attending the Creativity for Life retreat in Taos, NM in October. The retreat is sponsored by ArtSong and is being conducted by my former coach, Eric Maisel. Since we have never met in person, this is going to be very exciting for me....and I guess in a way he will never be my former coach because I know he is always there if I need him.
There is a big difference between the business of art and being an artist. I am sure there are many of you who could speak to this issue. For me, it is the 800 lb gorilla in the corner of the room. If I start my day on the business side, I never get to the creative side. Last year I had a plan but with this year's teaching schedule that all fell apart....along with my exercise regimen.
Guess I need to make new year's resolutions in July not January....so I am hoping to get back on track with all the aspects of my daily life including being a good blogger. I know I have made that promise before but I didn't keep it. Mainly because I felt I was just narrating my life and had nothing interesting to say. You know what I mean....packed,went to the airport, boarded the plane, arrived, gave lecture, taught workshop, came home, collapsed in front of television, watched bad tv and did the same thing all over again.
This time I will try to do better. I am feeling better physically already; hoping the mental and creative will follow.

Continuing with Cambria Artists

This was such a dedicated and open class that i don't want to leave anyone out.After a few days of other posts, I want to return to these very talented student.....if for no other reason than to show you their talent and that you to have the same talent if you will allow yourself to be open to it....not worry about the opinions of other people and dig deep to find you way of making meaning. The first artist is June Fincher. Her whole cloth is of peppers and gourds and her small quilt is made from painted fabric. Oneof the most valuable things June brought to us was a quote that she posted on her design wall. I hope you can read it.
June's Artist Statememt: Sunday, Monday,Tuesday....Delvig inyo art. Trying to connect, to understand principles of art.
Opening my mind----stay loose---be free---experiment.
My work shows some struggle, some success. I have to that I am a beginner and not get discouraged.
Wednesday---I feel more optimistic---things are beginning to sink in.
No doubt about it, June, you are on the path.


The second work is from Marie Diederick. Marie was a total delight as a student...so full of talent and yet so humble. An artist with no ego but an incredible eye and desire to create...unique in all of her being.
Marie's Artist Statement: My work here is just the beginning. It has released me. I have no fear. I can do it. Do it my way. I'm free. Thank you.

Marie was already free all I did was open some doors, lift some veils. I felt for this entire class I was just a facilitator a mediator guiding them to their personal expression. What a gift for an instructor.













Our last artist in this post is Marlene Barkley. Marlene has a definite direction in which she wants to go but was needing exposure to a variety of media to accomplish that vision. I think we arrived at that place. I you could see her whole cloth of the rock and sky you would feel as if you could reach out and touch it.
Marlene's Artist Statement: My work, at this stage, reflects my inner turmoil of direction. I have spent the last few days going into a free fall and feel I have become grounded.
The first few exercises mirror that inner turmoil and dissatisfaction and now my rocks and the red piece show a direction.

I look forward to seeing where Marie will take her work....hopefully I will be back in Cambria in 2009 with some of these same students so we can push further and with new students who can join in this process of making meaning.

Only four more artists left...but I hope that is not the end of the journey.

Self Discovery 2 Last for Awhile

Don't want to run this into the ground too early so these will be the last for awhile. The next work I do will focus on studio work/quilting because I know I have a totally different mind set when I work. Thinking this will make a difference in how I look I want to explore that also. Today's selection are the public me and after the "party."

The first is trying to decide what to wear. I put a soft focus on the picture because I always wonder what to wear. Lucikly, California is very casual so I brought very few choices. Other venues require much more professional gear.
Having decided I put on my war paint and am semi pleased with the results but never feel as if it quite measures up. At home I never wear make-up and always feel as if it changes who I am. We all have many different faces we show to the world....each appropriate for a particular situation. Is this the right face? Going into performance mode, I wait to "feel" the crowd, to measure how to present the lecture for maximum effect.
After the lecture, getting ready to drag myself to the shower, I relect on the evening. I am still tired from the late night arrival on Monday but looking forward to class on Wednesday. Looking at pictures from last year, I am surprised by how much older and more tired I look. It dawns on me that since I stopped exercising I have totally changed. Everything is sagging and I have much less stamina.....lesson learned. Gotta hit the rowing machine and gym when I get home to see if I can get any of that back.

Tomorrow back to the Cambria artist.